Aside from a midfield including Kevin Maher and Chris Palmer, Mark Stimson named a young side who struggled to create many goalscoring opportunities.

Both sides, however, had chances early on. Chris Palmer’s pace caused problems on the left, but his ball across was intercepted before Jacob Erskine could finish. A minute later, Shots midfielder Adam Mekki cut inside after a breakaway but his shot deflected wide. From the resulting corner Danny Hylton rose highest but headed over.

Aldershot ‘keeper Masters produced the first of his first-half stops by saving Luke Rooney’s curling free-kick after Erskine had been fouled. Andy Pugh was felled in a similar fashion after half an hour, but Rashid Yussuff’s shot deflected for a corner.

In-between, Aldershot had a couple of speculative efforts but it was Gillingham who finished the half the stronger. Pugh’s drive from the corner of the box was well saved by Masters’ left hand. From Rooney’s corner two attempts were blocked on the line – first Erskine’s header and, from the follow-up, Palmer’s volley.

After the break both teams struggled to create chances. The closest Gillingham came in this spell was Palmer’s intercepted cross. For Aldershot, Anthony Charles’ 35-yard shot may have caused more problems had it not been straight at Julian.

Substitutions from both sides created a change in tempo. Josh Pearson’s first involvement almost saw him score – his shot from 20 yards was well saved by Julian. The away side’s best chance came with 15 minutes remaining – the ball fell kindly for John Grant in the box but he blasted wide.

Gillingham pushed forward in the final ten minutes – Rooney couldn’t get enough of Jerome Okimo’s cross, heading it wide and Palmer, having cut inside, shot straight at Masters. But it was Julian who helped Gillingham to a point – Ben Hutchings’ cross from the right was met by Charles’ head, producing a brilliant one-handed parry from Julian, keeping Gillingham’s unbeaten home record in the league intact.

Stimson will have been impressed with the performances of Julian, Palmer and Tom Wynter but knows the squad needs improving if the club are to stay out of a relegation fight this season.

Gillingham: Julian; Hall, Okimo, Essam (Stimson 77), Wynter; Yussuff, Maher, Rooney, Palmer; Pugh (Odunaike 67), Erskine (Davies 77). Subs not used: Quinn (GK), Brown

Aldershot: Masters; Hutchings, Casey, Hopkinson, Charles, Bergqvist, Mekki (Pearson 67), Cox (Breimyr 81), Grant, Hylton, Connolly (Worsfold 73). Subs not used: Pilgrim, Clement

After losing two on the bounce, Tuesday´s match at home to Aldershot seemed like the perfect chance to get back on track. But Gillingham never do things the easy way, which makes following them from South America almost unbearable. Five minutes before kick-off I was shown the door by the girl I´m living with, who had to concentrate on an exam the following day. Only trouble was the internet café computers weren´t really in the mood for me either, so I had to run home and hide in her mother´s bedroom, relying on my girlfriend to read the internet updates down the phone. Torture.

After going 1-0 down we struck back almost immediately through Curtis Weston. Thankfully at half-time I was allowed out of the doghouse, and could enjoy the luxury of second-half commentary. With the game poised at 1-1 we raced into a 3-1 lead, as two goals in quick succession from Mark McCammon and Andy Barcham looked to have put us out of reach. With my kennel beckoning, silently leaping around the room and frantic fist-pumping had to suffice for a celebration.

I should have known better. Without Simon King in the heart of our defence we fell to pieces. Some calamitous defending and a Mark Bentley own-goal soon meant it was three each, before an Andy Sandell volley completed the turnaround and put the visitors 3-4 ahead. Heartbreak.

Cue howling and looks that could kill from the sulky student behind me. But soon enough we were level again, as Adam Miller slotted home a penalty before making way for Simeon Jackson.

The remaining twenty minutes were as jittery as I have ever experienced. I think I would have preferred the internet updates. With the defence of both teams deciding they deserved a day-off the game was terrifyingly open, with Gillingham coming close on a number of occasions, and Aldershot cutting us to ribbons in between. Stuart Atwell finally blew the whistle to put us all out of our misery. While we desperately needed a winner, I couldn´t help thinking the longer the game went on the more likely we were to concede again. My heart simply couldn´t take it.

Then came the familiar numbness, sitting in the garden, staring into space. We all know the feeling. To make things worse I am living and working with entirely women, none of whom feel my pain. I got the same old questions that have plagued me all my life.

“Why don´t you just support a better team?” “Why do you let it get to you so much?” “Are you sure those pants are really that lucky?”

Still in shock, I could only manage a pathetic shrug of the shoulders and mutter something about them not understanding.

I saw exactly the same deflated look of dejection last weekend, when I was treated to a seat in the director´s box at Guarani´s Estadio Clemente Oliveira. I was a guest of the Club President, Cesar, who has supported the club all his life. This game was against Crucero, their local rivals in the fourth tier of Argentinian football. The atmosphere was intense, with a passionate crowd and a cacophany of firecrackers and drums. At half-time the firefighters were called into action, drenching the main stand of home fans in an effort to calm them down. The game was frenetic, with a disallowed goal and a red card for either side, a bit of a brawl, and plenty of histrionics. The referee finally called a halt to proceeding with the score at 1-1, before being escorted off the pitch by riot police.

It had been Guaraní´s chance to leapfrog Crucero to go top of the league, and Cesar couldn´t hide his disappointment. On the way out I spotted a banner that had been draped high up on the cage that surrounds the pitch. Translated it read: ´There are some things that are not explained with words, only with the heart´. For me, this hits the nail on the head.

It doesn´t matter how many times they let you down, how poorly they play or how often they ruin your day. If a partner treated us this badly we´d leave them. Yet we keep coming back for more. And do you know the saddest thing? Deep down we all know that we wouldn´t swap it for the world.

I am a firm believer in the old adage that you don´t choose your team, your team chooses you. You either get the bug or you don´t. And once you get it, there´s no going back. It´s the irrational belief in a fairytale ending that makes supporting a lower-league team so cruel. I read a touching comment on a 606-forum from a Luton fan last Saturday, after they went down 2-1 to Dagenham & Redbridge, to leave them still stuck on two points, twenty-one points from safety and football-league status next season.

“I’ve given up again, but come next Saturday morning I’ll believe we’re going to pull off a miracle again.”

And it´s this hope over reason that keeps us clueless lot coming back for more. It doesn´t matter how many dire performances you pay masses of money and travel countless miles to see. Nothing can stop us from holding out the hope that one day it will all have been worth it.

Gillingham are still in with a shout, despite our vastly inferior goal difference, teams above us having games in hand, and our chronic inconsistency. With fifteen games left we are three points off the play-offs and six points off an automatic spot. We have two winnable home games coming up, starting with Macclesfield on Saturday, followed by two away trips to struggling sides, and then two six-pointers against promotion rivals Darlington and Shrewsbury at home. So keep the faith, we´re not giving up yet.

Mr Attwell, it will be remembered was the referee that awarded the phantom goal to Watford earlier in the season and was fast-tracked as the bright young thing to the Premiership before suffering a equally rapid reversal back to the Football League. Up and down the country there are spectators that believe that reversal should continue all the way back to park football. If Attwell was bad, Kirkup just shouldn’t be allowed near a touchline because he is a danger to himself, turning the normally sedate Gordon Road folk into a seething mass.

Of Saturday’s nobbled two, Simon King failed to recover and Mark Bentley deputised. John Nutter was dropped to the bench to give a full debut to Arsenal loanee Rene Steer, and what a woeful debut it was. Steer was completely out of his depth, my neighbour remarked that he would predict that he would never wear a Arsenal shirt, I would predict that he never again wears a Gillingham shirt, he made Nutter look world class.

Manager Stimson’s other decision was to drop leading scorer Simeon Jackson to the bench giving Dennis Oli and Gary Mulligan the strikers role.

Gillingham made a bright start, but conceded the first goal on 20 minutes when a long cross to the far post was brilliantly headed back across the goal by Anthony Charles, which was in turn met by Andy Lindegaard who planted his header past Simon Royce. It was a well worked goal, Charles did especially well, but it was a portent of what was to ensue, Steer had given Davies time and space to cross and there was very little in terms of challenges for the two headers.

The home side quickly made amends, Andy Barcham who had a sparkling match and is back to his best, gave Dennis Oli a chance that was blocked, the ball fell to Adam Miller who fed Curtis Weston whose shot went underneath the keeper, who really should have done better, another sign of the madness to come.

The rest of the first half went along quietly if you can discount the bizarre decisions of Messrs Attwell and Kirkup, whose lack of speed on the line was compensated by his reasoning that he could make judgements from at least 20 yards behind the play and that the referee could make bad enough calls without his help.

Mark McCammon replaced Mulligan, who limped out of the first half and the enforced change paid instant dividends. The big striker met a Nicky Southall free kick to head home easily, far too comfortably if I was sitting with the Aldershot fans. This very respectable following for a Tuesday night was further disappointed in the 55th minute when Andy Barcham sped clear of the Aldershot defence, rounded the keeper to slot home. Barcham ran a long way with the ball and finished clinically, great stuff and the Gills are coasting. The next 11 minutes showed how wrong you can be.

In the next two minutes, Royce missed a cross by a country mile but was rescued, linesman Kirkup missed a offside decision, Royce missed another cross and from the resultant melee Marvin Morgan headed home. The madness had begun.

Four more minutes passed by and Mark Bentley, attempting to turn the ball behind for a corner, only managed to head into his own net and at the end of the nightmare period, Steer allowed Robinson the freedom of Priestfield to cross for Andy Sandell to score from close range. 3-1 up, 4-3 down and still the best part of half an hour of confusion to reign.

Gillingham’s equaliser didn’t take up much of the remaining time, six minutes later Adam Miller was brought down and got up to send the keeper the wrong way from the resultant penalty, a decision that Attwell seemed to get right.

Wild, tennis-like, predictions of 6-5, 7-6, 6-all finishes subsequently proved unfounded, although Andy Barcham once again raced clear only to be stopped in his tracks by keeper Alex McCarthy. What do we make of it in the cold light of the next day? It was entertaining, that’s for sure. It was comical in a twisted sort of way, but the hard facts are that Gillingham defended appallingly and were the makers of their own downfall. Positives can be taken from Barcham’s return to form and McCammon’s impact on his introduction. Ultimately Stimson was left with more questions than answers.

1. We should have won that match
If you score four goals in a match at home, you’ve got to be winning that game, surely? It could and perhaps should have been more, as we managed to spurn at least another two or three golden chances during an absolutely bonkers match. In truth it shouldn’t have mattered, but unfortunately some absolutely shocking defending cost us a very comfortable win.

2. We could easily have lost that match
Despite scoring four goals, at the back we looked absolutely hopeless at times. Whether it was Mark Bentley’s fish out of water performance at centre half, Rene Steer’s lack of any defensive nous or Barry Fuller’s criminal ball-watching, we looked vulnerable every single time Aldershot attacked. Four goals scored, yes, but we were an absolute joke at the back.

3. Mark McCammon proved me wrong
Up until tonight I’ve been totally underwhelmed by Mark McCammon, but credit where it’s due, his performance as a second half sub was superb. He led the line well, scored a good header early on and was unlucky not to get another with a diving header minutes later. He seemed to run out of steam a little towards the end of the match, but he showed exactly what he could and should be delivering on a regular basis. More of the same please!

4. Barcham and Weston were superb
Andy Barcham deservedly got the Man of the Match award, but I thought Curtis Weston was equally as impressive in the centre of midfield. The pair of them never stopped running and showed some real quality in attack. Barcham has looked a little off the pace in recent games, but he looks back to form, while Weston is without doubt one of the division’s most talented players.

5. The worst referee we’ve seen at Priestfield this season
Stuart Attwell is in an unenviable position. He’s been put up as an example of how young people can get the chance to progress quickly through the refereeing ranks. Unfortunately that example doesn’t really work, because he is absolutely awful as a referee. No game management skills, missing countless clear offences and getting countless other decisions wrong. Almost every week we hear people call in radio phone-ins to complain about this bloke and we found out first hand exactly why. Based on the times I’ve watched him officiate televised games, plus the numerous testimonies of frustrated fans (often from both sides in the same game), the guy’s clearly not up to it – even in League Two.

He was fast-tracked through the refereeing system and refereed his first Premiership game at the age of 25. He is the youngest referee to officiate in the Premier League.

He spent one year as a National Group Referee and despite a distinct lack of experience was promoted to the Select Group for the 2008/09 season. However his rise through the ranks has had its controversial moments.

In his first Championship game between Sheffield United and Blackpool game he made a match-changing decision. Blackpool’s Ian Evatt was penalised for committing a professional foul on Sheffield United’s Billy Sharp although replays show that there was no contact. Evatt was sent off, and Blackpool manager Simon Grayson brought the Football League’s decision to put such an inexperienced referee in charge of such a high pressure game in question.

Swansea manager Roberto Martinez suggested he failed to control the players following the FA Cup game between Swansea and Havant & Waterlooville.

In September 2008, Mr Attwell refereed a game between Watford and Reading at Vicarage Road and allowed a goal for Reading to stand despite the ball missing the goal by a number of yards. Apparently Attwell was following the decision of his assistant referee. The incident renewed calls for the introduction of goal-line technology.

In December it was announced that he was to be requested to join the International Group of Referees for 2009.

Mr Attwell will be assisted by two very experienced officials in Peter Kirkup and Phil Sharp.

Mr Kirkup has officiated at the 2005 Championship Play-Off Final, a FA Community Shield, 2007 FA Challenge Cup Final. He has been a FIFA official since 2006.

Mr Sharp was appointed as a FIFA Assistant Referee in 1997 and is undoubtably England’s most experienced official. He was also appointed as an Assistant Referee at the 1999 FA Challenge Cup Final, the UEFA 2004 Finals, the 2004 Olympic Games Football Tournament including the Gold Medal Match (Argentina v Paraguay) and to the 2006 FIFA World Cup Finals.

His ultimate appointment came in 2002 when he ran the line in the FIFA World Cup Final in Japan (Brazil v Germany), with Pierluigi Collina in the middle.

Mr Attwell is a Select Group referee who has been fast-tracked through the promotion system.  He has spent one year as a National Group referee (Football League) and is now half way through his second season, having been promoted to the Select Group (Premier League) for the start of this season. In his first season as a National Group Referee he refereed the League Two Play-Off Final between Rochdale and Stockport at Wembley Stadium.

Recently it was announced that he, along with Andre Marriner, had been appointed to the FIFA List of International Referees in 2009.

He was 25 when he refereed his first Premier League match and his rise to fame has not been without it’s controversial moments.  The most publicised probably being the game between Watford and Reading in September 2008.  Following the advice of an Assistant Referee he allowed a goal to stand, even though the ball had gone well wide of the goal.  This event re-invigorated the argument for the introduction of goal-line technology.

Despite his setbacks he is highly thought of by the FA and FIFA ,and should enjoy a highly successful career.

Defender – Chris Blackburn

The 26 year old centre half has a football pedigree being the nephew of former Manchester City midfielder Alan Oakes and the cousin of ex-Wolves keeper Michael Oakes. Starting his career as a striker at Chester he made his debut in 2000 and caught the eye of Man City scouts earning a trial. He left Chester in the summer of 2003 and went to America where he played for Nevada Wonders in the USL Pro Select League, before returning to England with Northwich Victoria and Morecambe. It was at Morecombe where he was converted to a defender and he regularly excelled at both centre half and right back. Chris was a member of the Morecambe sides that lost to Hereford United in the 2006 Conference Play-Off Semi-Final and that beat Exeter City in the following season’s Final. He also represented the England National Game XI. Chris joined the Shots at the start of the season following an unsuccessful spell with Swindon and has been a regular fixture at the heart of their defence.

Midfield – Scott Davies

The 20 year old attacking midfielder is on a season long loan from Reading having signed pro terms for the Royals in 2006. He joined Aldershot Town on a season-long loan in July 2007 and scored on his debut at Kidderminster Harriers and won many plaudits as the Shots reached the FA Trophy Semi-Finals. His most defining contribution for the Shots was the injury-time winner at promotion rivals Torquay United in March 2008 and the goal voted as Blue Square ‘Goal of the Season’. Scott signed a new deal with Reading in the summer of before rejoining the Shots on another season-long loan. He has continued where he left off with 9 goals already this season including the winner against the Gills back in September. He has also represented the Republic of Ireland at Under-19 level.

Striker – Kirk Hudson

Hudson has had an interesting career having spells at Ipswich and Celtic as a youth, but failed to make the grade despite being a key part of Celtic Youth’s League and Cup winning side in 2005. The pacy striker found himself without a club for a time before a successful trial period with the Shots in 2006 led to a full contract. Although he made regular appearances for the club, it was not until the 2007-08 season that Kirk established himself. The season saw him with a Blue Square Premier winners’ medal and being named as the ‘Blue Square Young Player of the Year’. The 22 year old has already racked up 119 appearances scoring 35 goals for the Shots including the opener against the Gills back in September. He is regarded as having a bright future in the game.